i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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