I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
