Duck Duck Cougar?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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