What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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