All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His nipple licking is glorious
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