In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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