So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Come see our sink grown plant.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
