How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I died a long time ago.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
