dude i'm inner monologue high
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
