Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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