So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
