you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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