There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
