I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
