I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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