College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
