I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dicks are not precious.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
