If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh god it's open bar.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
