I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
