Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He has the fingertips of a God
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