Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
