i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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