dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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