We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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