At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
