Already got asked if we're dating
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
