Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
