Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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