Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
where does the pee come out of this thing
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Randomize
