please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
