At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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