11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
