Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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