I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
