Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
