I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
