Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
