hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
