There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Randomize
