all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
