I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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