im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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