I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
