ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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