I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
