ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
