I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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