Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
