1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
