fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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