it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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