I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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