The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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