So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
