saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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