I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
