I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
